I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
