Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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