What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
