Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize