need another drink. this is the easiest way
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there was a trapeze. enough said
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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