I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
