Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
