I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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