What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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