So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
