I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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