Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
