I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize