did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What drink are we having for lunch?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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