Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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