I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
