jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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