Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
