and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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