it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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