Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
