how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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