The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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