porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
