But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
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I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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