she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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