Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
