She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
