Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
