R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
