i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
