I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
