just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
