Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
where does the pee come out of this thing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
