If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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