Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
