But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
