I accidentally had phone sex last night
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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