you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
