we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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