If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Less talking, more tequila
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
