I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
