Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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