I want to walk on stilts...naked
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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