I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
