ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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