I am puke
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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