oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
