He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
