my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
