Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
