So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize