Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
