just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
