i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I skipped work to stalk him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
