An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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