Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
