Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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