walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
