one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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