But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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