Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
