I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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