my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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