carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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