do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
