One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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